“I feel much older than my age”

I am 25 years old, married, two children. We live separately from parents. My husband and I work, both children go to the garden. After work, I immediately take the children home, and my husband goes from one job to another, I can not see him for days. A lot of tests fell on our husband and my husband: both a miscarriage and the fact that he was framed and planted for three years, and at that time I stayed with a child in my arms. These difficulties hardened us, made us stronger, more responsible. However, in the last year, I began to notice that the peers seemed to me unorganized, their expenses are illogical, they seem to live only today. They cause irritation that I, of course, do not show. I communicate with everyone correctly, positively, in the team they treat me well. I feel much older than my age, while with the older generation it is also uncomfortable for me: everyone has stability, no one wants to achieve anything, change in life, everyone suits everyone. I have principles, desires, views on life, what I want to achieve. Now I have no friends with whom I can share some events, problems or just talk. Only husband, but he comes home to eat and sleep, the rest of the time works. I need full communication, but where to get it? What to do? Why could it happen?

Alena, even one of the events you listed is enough for serious changes to you, your views on life have changed, and quite significantly. There is nothing surprising in that it is difficult for you to find those who would understand you.

Judging by what you wrote, husband and children are your main communication partners, while both children are still clearly small for this, and the husband simply is not ready to satisfy your need for communication. But is it right? Yes, a lot of tests fell on your spouse, besides, he has to work hard. But you are not cooling at home, but you work and do family affairs. There is nothing strange and wrong to want to chat with your own spouse.

Try to start cutting at least 15-20 minutes every day to communicate and discuss something important for you. In the end, the result of the “silence” may be a serious cooling of the relationship.

The events you are talking about made you emotionally older. I got the impression that you do not have much time for yourself now and not many opportunities to please yourself. I perfectly understand why the idea of irrational spending of money is neding to you, because you never know what difficulties you will have to face in the future, and it will painfully painfully remember how much was spent on “empty entertainment”.

But try to accept such a thought: we never know exactly how things are in mystake casino another family. Perhaps they have a pillow of safety, so they can afford to spend some amounts “vain”. And inorganization can only seem like this – it is quite possible that for another person such a way of life is quite comfortable. Irritation can be caused by the fact that you now have such opportunities, there is no such freedom.

I think, Alena, that you should look for resources that will help you recover, relax. It can be, for example, sport (for starting at least at home). You can organize a circle of mutual assistance with other mothers, sit in turn with children. So everyone will sometimes have the opportunity to go somewhere for at least a couple of hours.

Communication can be tried on the Internet, there are a lot of communities in social networks where you will definitely find people with similar problems and outlooks on life. Many people, communicating in parental groups, make friends there. Why don’t you try?

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